I think you have hooked me on this one my friend. I haven't read that many stories by other people that held my attention very well, and if any of them did, they are people I know outside of Fictionpress. You are the 1st I think to catch my attention by mere good writing alone!

This story is wonderful. This seemed a prolog to me, but a good one. It had an odd flow, but a good one. This has good lead in for more chapters, and is very easy to understand. I think this has more "essence" in it than other stories I have read, for lack of better words.

The only thing I would point out for you to change, is that you have a stray "A" in one of your paragraphs. An "a" that doesn't fit. It's right here: "He only knew they were there when they moved something or (here is the mispalced 'A') made a disturbance."

Great job! This one is on my "alert" list. I have my eyes one you! (only for updates, of course!)
Night Silver's Whisper

PRetty interesting but a little more detail is needed. I think the narrator should be filled out a little.