lol. i thought i'd read it again and LAUghed!

You should space out your first and bottom paragraph...having it all bunched up makes it a bit difficult to read...it really does help...just advice I like the story update it when you can! XD

This was pretty good some grammer errors but those can be fixed. CHYA good job! XD

I liked it though I did spot a few errors, funny how I can spot others yet not my own, ha ha anyway it was still good! XD

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SOMETHING CALLED PUNCTUATION? LOOK AT THAT! I JUST USED A QUESTION MARK. YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOME TIME. MOST OF THE TIME WHEN YOUR CHARACTERS ASK QUESTIONS, IT IS HARD TO FOLLOW BECAUSE YOU DON'T IMMEDIATELY REALIZE THEY ARE ASKING A QUESTION. iF A CHARACTER SAYS SOMETHING AND IT IS NOT A QUESTION, YOU SHOULD PUT A PERIOD INSIDE THE QUOTE MARKS. IF THEY SAY SOMETHING AND IT IS FOLLOWED BY THE WORDS 'SAID BOB' OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT, PUT A COMMA INSIDE THE QUOTE MARKS. I FOUND THESE MISTAKES VERY DISTRACTING FROM THE STORY AND I FOUND MYSELF NOT ENJOYING IT DUE TO MISTAKES THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN VERY EASY FOR YOU TO FIX.

ello ahahaha i luv it lots peoples read it it's God as come on i know you wannt to YaY Good Job Bec i albsolutely luv it :D lUv ya heaps Bec

Heya Bec i luv the story it's awesome and funny hehe:P I luv reading it :D

Very funny. Keep up the good work.

hey, i love it. Its so amusing and funny. I cant wait to u update. Ill be looking out for it.

hey that was really great! u n ur friend r really good. cant wait till u post more!

Hey it's me. the url worked. thanks!!

the story is great. keep up the good work.. :D

OMG OMG OMG! this story is so cool! cant wait till u update it!