Los [Angeles?] and guidance [counselor?] I think councilor has something more to do with councils than counselling. I love Ms. Beam though. "Is something wrong at home?" Yeah, they always assume that. Or that you're having major relationship problems with the boyfriend.

The transition in scene between the coffee shop and home is difficult to catch. Maybe give the home scene a little more context?

The underlying message is interesting, even if I can't relate. Maybe spend more time developing Aiden's relationship with her mother? It seems very important, in context of everything that is going on in her head.

well written. good message.

I love your story! It is written really well, and I can totally relate. I love that song, it has always been one of my favorites. Great job!