wow. intense, aye? very interesting. creates too many questions, anyhoo, like it.:D

This is fantastic. The whole piece is so well written and I want so desperately to know more. How did this happen? What will happen next. But - and this is the crunch - I really think that you should just leave it at that. If you continue, you'll ruin that simple piece. Those few but intense and real emotions.

I really like this, can you keep writing more?

You should continue this! Turn it into a story, it sounds really interesting.

Uh...what's the rest of the story? It's a good piece, but it only creates questions.

Extremely intense.
After reading you nearly beg for more, wanting to know what happened before and what will happen next. And stil the chapter on it's own is great already.

A great concept that you could continue but only at the risk of ruining the feeling you felt while writting this one.

you could make this into a full fledged story if you wanted..

Intense.

Begging for elaboration, yet perfect as is. Its one of those things that you really want to write more of, while knowing perfectly well that it would ruin the whole thing if you kept going...

At least, thats how it would be for me.

*sigh*

Ah, well. Wonderful as always!

~Olivia

is he hot? :D

Sounds like a saucy dream ;)

Anything else happen? Did it reoccur and any further details adeed?

Sounds mysterious!

I loved this oneshot. I clearly saw every scene you painted. It got me kinda mad that he won cause I'm kinda the "cold hearted bitch" hahahaha. No, more like NOT the damsel in distress. I felt like I was actually in the story though. Good job. ;P

*sigh* your oneshots could ALL become great stories you know. Can't you continue them? Plz?

This would make a really good story.

oh. goos beginning!!
update soon.