I read your other Looking Glass story so I had to check this one out as well. Awesome story! Are you combining the two, or is the other one completely different? The twist on Alice in Wonderland is amazingly creative. Great prologue, even if it is a year or so old.

The name is what drew me being about Wonderland with a sci-fi twist. The idea is absolutely brilliant!
The story has a more "Twilight" approach, being female and confused even if Alice isn't in love with a vampire.
Definately publishable if tweaked here or there.
Please continue writing!

I Love this story. it's so creative.when i first read the summary i thought it would be somthing along the lines of Maximum ride but i would have never have guessed Alice in Wonderland. Wow. it's Really good. it's 2 am and i will read the rest tommrow.
~Becca

Another solid chapter. Great writing, solid characters. I'm especially enjoying the dream segments, which are beautifully written.

Nice job - update soon.

Her emo choice of dress makes me think Final Fantasy - without the heterosexuals and goth makeup. But this is the future...

"I can't believe you'd like to your grandma like that!" - spot the problem?

The emotional bit was odd: does she cry so often in front of them that they don't think it's weird?

No complaints here. Nice work, except for a few understandable typos.

"Surely that the boy in the alley and Vivian and Cliff and the bound man were all part of my dream, right?" - uh, either you've got an extra word here, or you didn't complete your thought

"...even some things that cannot possibly be aqquired by a mere human..." - spot the spelling error

"...to attone for being so foolish..." - same deal

I like the abrupt end to the chapter. Nice suspense.

"The first two consisted of a very tall, bulky man and a skinny, sultry-looking woman." - "consisted" is not the word you're looking for.

"By the way he had been addressed, I assumed his name was Cliff." - this sentence is completely unnecessary, considering the direct address earlier.

This chapter would be better if the action was a little clearer. A lot of the text was jumbled together too, but that was most likely an update error. If you could clean some of that up, it would be a much easier read.

Now THIS is good stuff. Excellent element of suspense - really good. And I'm glad that the story is picking up quickly, rather than stretching needlessly.

Two complaints: one, it seems relatively odd to me that an asylum would be across the street from a pizza parlor. Two, even if she did recognize the kid, it's weird that she would embrace him without real introduction.

I really like the Alice in Wonderland theme - the references are very well-used and not so obscure that people unfamiliar with the classic story won't pick up on them.

Very good writing.

Can someone - even a dream character - really see your "subconscious"? Your brain, maybe...

You have a great way of painting vivid word-pictures when describing setting and characters, although the all-at-once description method of the band feels like an unnecessary break in the story.

Finally, the chapter ends a little oddly - perhaps moving the last two paragraphs into the next chapter would smooth that issue out.

Nice setup. I appreciate the brevity, if not the style - I'd rather let the story unfold than preview it. But that's just me.

The idea isn't exactly grabbing, but I think you've got enough of a good thing here to rectify that. And judging from your other reviews, you've met with relatively good success.

Nice work, and I'll read on...

I got the Kira thing! I'm so proud. This is really good so far! Now I'm going to read the rest.

Good chapter. I like it.

Good job again.

interesting story. i've written something myself about genetic experiments on kids, and i like the approach that you took. im looking forward to ur next chapter