1) "She felt I was too young to clothe myself all in black."
Oh yeah, mothers can be annoying, especially when they insist that their children are too young to make their own decisions. ;)
2) Personally, I think that "muscular" sounds nicer than "muscled", but never mind.
3) "Instead, he seemed to make the rules themselves look like fools."
My friend once said, "If boys aren't bad, then girls won't love them." Hmm, I suppose that Barakah is one of those attractive Bad Boys.
4) Gosh, I've spotted a typo somewhere--"gave", not "gavt".
Overall, I love this one-shot, though it's tragic.

Wow this is a powerful story. She will someday be powerful enough to get her revenge, but by then will she still have the same views? She is very sheltered. The assassins could be in the right. At the moment she only sees her loss.

Wow. I've been following your Poisoner series, and I don't know why, but I'd never checked all your other stories before... This was awesome, and I can't believe I hadn't read it before. You could turn this story into a real book, and I would pay money for it. If I could scrounge up any money that is...
Anyway, great job on this story. I look forward to reading any sequels if you decide to write them!

This was wonderful! But it left me craving more! So much more! is there a sequel? Well, I'll check out your story list in a moment to see for myself...i really liked it!!

LOVED IT!
It would absolutely fantastic if you made a sequel! I know I would read it for sure!

Well, that was interesting! It was just twist after twist...I enjoyed it a lot! It almost seems like it's the beginning of an epic story...

loved it!

This saddens me, that there is not more too read. Alas, if only there was It's quite entrancing.

I remember reading this a while ago.
I want to know what happens.
Too bad Barakah is an **, he was hot...