Even though it's been a bit since I've read this story (which I'm so terribly sorry for), I immediately got right into the story line, the characters, everything. I love this :) Keep up the great work!

~Carm~

Awesome story so far. Cant wait for you to update.

-Raven

i realy like your story my only sajestion is to make the chapters longer

I love everything about this story! You're doing a phenomenal job, and I really can't wait for more :)

~Carm~

hi, okay, first off, I'm jusst offering constructive criticism. i'm not trying to be insulting or anything.

okay, so what i noticed is that the basis on your story is pretty much dialogue between two people, usually. This is not bad because it keeps the story moving and doesn't bore people, but it doesn't allow for proper description. like, settings, physical responses, or dress. Also, the conversations are just banter between main character. they do not really go too deep and delve into the background. you should probably focus a little more on character development. oh, and one last note, watch your tense. sometimes you write in past tense, but other times you are in present tense or present progressive.

that may be a lot to digest, but if you work on this your writing will improve immensely. and i'm always here to help!!

aw no clif hangers write more soon

kee it up and update soon

wow, short but nice chapter. update asap!

Ah, this story makes me smile :) Great chapter!

~Carm~

Absolutely wonderful. I love every bit of this story :)

Keep up the fantastic work!

~Carm~

Wow, didn't see that coming:P mwhahah, nice chapter. Update ASAP!

is it sapost to be kyle or kyler you go back and forth

nice nice chapter! I'm a new fan from your story and I like it. Update soon!

Even though it's been awhile since I've been on Fictionpress, I've definitely not forgotten this story. I'm loving it! It's this kind of story that keeps me coming back for more. So, I hope to see more from you soon :)

~Carm~

interesting
update soon can't wait for the next chapter