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| Carmel March 2008-06-21 ch 17,  | abuseEven though it's been a bit since I've read this story (which I'm so terribly sorry for), I immediately got right into the story line, the characters, everything. I love this :) Keep up the great work! ~Carm~ |
| Vampire0175 2008-05-10 ch 17, | abuseAwesome story so far. Cant wait for you to update. -Raven |
| bela13 2008-05-10 ch 17, | abusei realy like your story my only sajestion is to make the chapters longer |
| Carmel March 2008-04-06 ch 16, | abuseI love everything about this story! You're doing a phenomenal job, and I really can't wait for more :) ~Carm~ |
| omgitskandice 2008-03-30 ch 16, | abusehi, okay, first off, I'm jusst offering constructive criticism. i'm not trying to be insulting or anything. okay, so what i noticed is that the basis on your story is pretty much dialogue between two people, usually. This is not bad because it keeps the story moving and doesn't bore people, but it doesn't allow for proper description. like, settings, physical responses, or dress. Also, the conversations are just banter between main character. they do not really go too deep and delve into the background. you should probably focus a little more on character development. oh, and one last note, watch your tense. sometimes you write in past tense, but other times you are in present tense or present progressive. that may be a lot to digest, but if you work on this your writing will improve immensely. and i'm always here to help!! |
| bela13 2008-03-30 ch 16, | abuseaw no clif hangers write more soon |
| sousie 2008-03-30 ch 16, | abusekee it up and update soon |
| xBlackSoul 2008-03-16 ch 15, | abusewow, short but nice chapter. update asap! |
| Carmel March 2008-03-16 ch 15, | abuseAh, this story makes me smile :) Great chapter! ~Carm~ |
| Carmel March 2008-03-10 ch 14, | abuseAbsolutely wonderful. I love every bit of this story :) Keep up the fantastic work! ~Carm~ |
| xBlackSoul 2008-03-10 ch 14, | abuseWow, didn't see that coming:P mwhahah, nice chapter. Update ASAP! |
| bela13 2008-02-15 ch 3, | abuseis it sapost to be kyle or kyler you go back and forth |
| xBlackSoul 2008-02-04 ch 13, | abusenice nice chapter! I'm a new fan from your story and I like it. Update soon! |
| Carmel March 2008-02-04 ch 13, | abuseEven though it's been awhile since I've been on Fictionpress, I've definitely not forgotten this story. I'm loving it! It's this kind of story that keeps me coming back for more. So, I hope to see more from you soon :) ~Carm~ |
| sousie 2008-02-04 ch 13, | abuseinteresting update soon can't wait for the next chapter |