wow. so much tolisten to! jk lol i enjoy it a lot. BTW i made a new deaf friend tosay!

oh no...is this the end?! so sad *sniffs* but it made great reading, thank you! I liked how at the end everything wasn't all wrapped up like 'and then they lived happily ever after...' Is there a sequal?

Sorry for not reading or reviewing for so long! >.<

The story is still great; the longer diary entry in the last chapter is okay, since diary entries can get pretty long sometimes, so that makes it realistic. ^^ I also like how you added in the entry about tests and "I hate math" - that made me smile, hahaha~

Ooh! I like the "new" parts with Sasha and Tim's sister. They show pretty well the way other people see the whole problem. And it's good that someone at least tells Jazz's parents that they've gone wrong, even if they don't listen.

I'm still liking this! It's great to see Esther's viewpoint of everything, filling in all the details that weren't mentioned in "For Lilly", like when Jasmine told her parents.

The only spelling mistake I could find so far was "then" instead of "than" - which you can leave, actually, because since it's a 12-year-old's journal there's bound to be a few typos. ^^

Oh, and one of my favourite parts so far was the nativity play rehearsal - with the wise men rapping! Hahahahaha~~ You write really well!!

Aww, so sad! It's the end. But you did it really well!! I loved this story, I think you did a great job. Kudos to you for finishing! I never can seem to finish my stories. ;D But I really did love it. I hope you have a great summer! God bless.

Ashelin

Hahaha! Way to argue with yourself, there. :P

Anywho! Wow, this worked out perfectly - I get home after a week away, and there's a story alert waiting for me in my inbox! Sweetness!

I love how Esther reminisces back to when she started the journal, before all this happened... That part really struck me - so much can happen in just one year! And she's really changed a lot, hasn't she?

How come Jazz wasn't at the baby dedication? ::looks back to 'For Lilly,' confuzzled::

Yay! Picture! The other day, I thought about trying to draw Esther's picture because every time you mention it I get the same mental image in my mind. I can see it clearly. It's beautiful. But I... don't think I could do it justice! Perhaps it had best be left to the imagination...

Aw! Sad! I forgot this was the last chapter! :( I do love the ending, though. I like how it's so abrupt, so open-ended, because that's the way real life is. It really gives the sense that there's more to come, and it ends with hope. I like hope. Extra points for hope!

But don't worry about taking a break for the summer. Completely understandable. I'll miss your stories and updates, though! You've done such a wonderful job with both this story and 'For Lilly.' Don't EVER stop writing. God's given you an awesome gift, so keep using it! You're obviously enjoying yourself - and I know that I always enjoy reading your work. :)

Guess that's it, then! Have a wonderful, awesome, glorious, tremendous, magnificent, splendiferous summer! God bless! :)

~Cesalie

Nice beginning!

I like the narrative voice of Esther, it really sounds like a 12-year-old writing a diary. I like the way you changed the font style of the entry for 16. November, after she cut herself, showing the change in handwriting.

The whole thing of seeing Esther's point of view of what is going on is great too, after reading "For Lilly". And those extra details, like that Tina is actually from Australia and how she met Mark, are also really good!

I'll come by to read more soon! ^^

Mane bene ad te! Quid agis? Sol est lucetne in caelo, hodie? Ita vero! Eugipae!

::ahem:: Moving on...

September 1st: Whoo! Long entry. And, eheu! Look who's back... Is it just me, or does that man actually get meaner and angrier each time we see him? Wow... He was serious about not recognizing Jazz as his daughter anymore... But I was so glad to see Esther stick up for her - she's a brave girl. And it's probably just as well that their dad wants nothing to with the baby! I'm so glad Lilly's in a good home.

I also loved the scene with Esther talking to her mother, who is obviously very tense about asking all those forbidden questions. You did a great job portraying that!

September 10th: Hmm... Are we readers gonna get to see this drawing? Are you secretly an artist, hiding away with your sketch pad, leaving us out in the cold without so much as a cup of hot chocolate to comfort us in our sadness when we realize that you've been keeping your talent hidden from the world?

Aw! I love how you've described Lilly. I can picture her now, grabbing onto Esther's finger and cutting off her circulation. :P I have to say, though, my favourite part of the description was definitely the part about her "creepy" eyes. That was awesome. She sounds like one beautiful baby.

KITTENS! Kittens are so much fun... :D I love how you included them in the same entry as you described Lilly. I don't know - I just like how the two sort of go together, in a way. Or maybe that doesn't make sense. Hum...

September 28th: Now, that is cool! Esther and Auntie Jo have a secret connection... But what's even sweeter is the fact that Esther picks out a drawing to give to Brooke without even thinking of herself. That, right there, shows the heart of Esther - always putting other people first.

Then again, what can we say? Esther is awesome!

~Cesalie

Whee!! You posted it! I knew you wouldn't fail us. Nobody's that heartless.

The real question, now, is whether or not FP will let me post a review!

Finally, Esther gets a little peace! I love her description of the old room. You know what it reminds me of? One of those rooms that you'd see while taking a tour of Mount Vernon or something. Old. Dusty. But, at the same time, it's elegant. In a quaint sort of way. A good place for an artist like Esther!

Haha, I can just picture her jumping up and down and running in circles and going positively crazy with excitement in that last entry... (Good thing she didn't hurt herself, or she'd be making her own special trip to the hospital... Then again, maybe they'd let her share a room with Jazz! HAHA! Or... maybe not. Okay, I'll stop now.)

Pastor Mark is so cool! "'Wow! Auntie Esther is excited.'" I don't know - for some reason, that really had me laughing.

Auntie Jo seems really sweet. And yes, of course - the true artist never shares her secrets... (Or was that the cook? I don't know. It works, anyway!)

Haha, wow - all that excitement, and then she's back to drawing! Then again, there's not much else she can really do, is there? She hasn't seen the baby herself, yet; she didn't even get to go the visit Jazz in the hospital. Might as well just keep working on that drawing!

Yeah, it was a short chapter, but I love how there's so much celebration in it. I can't wait to see Jazz again, not to mention Tina and Mark - and, of course, Lilly!!

Blessings!
~Cesalie :)

p.s. Did I ever mention that I love how they call Mark "Pastor"? It's one of those things that just makes me laugh, for some reason! "Tina and Pastor"... For a while, I thought that was their last name! And then I remembered it was Burke. Hehe. :P

Yay! She had the baby! I'm so happy. Even though I already knew she did but I love Esther's reaction! And it's cool to see she is such a great artist. Keep it going, I love this!

Ashelin

this is cool cause my story's a jounal-ization too.
I think your first entry is a tad off in terms of narration, it's difficult to explain, but i know this because i've done it too.

Journals are a lot harder to write just because you're always in character but the character is writing their own character...anyway, what i'm trying to say is that you have to balance the first entry with the way your heroine wants to start her journal and the way you want to start your story. Anyway, though your first entry is entirely believable for a 4th grader i'd say a 12 year old girl on the verge of adolescence wouldn't really begin a journal with a list of sorts...or maybe she would have a list...but it'd have more of her own commentaries, and it wouldn't seem like an obvious list at first.

I think maybe all i'm suggesting is that you add a little more personal flare? to the first paragraph. that is...if you want to.

I love how she is drawing Jazz and just becoming such an arist! Wish I was good at drawing. Haha.

I loved the ending with Matt and Brooke "getting violent". That is pretty hilarious to me for some odd reason. Well, great chapter. I can't wait until she has the baby! Even though technically she already has. OH well, great job.

Ashelin

AH! I'm so sorry for not reviewing sooner! I was gone! I feel so bad. This was a great chapter and I love that Esther is an artist! I'm going to read the next chapter now! Sorry again!

Whoosh!

That was the wind, back there. It makes that noise when I run to read what you've just posted.

Esther sounds like quite the artist! Haha, and trying to be sneaky about taking pictures... And, oh man - first Jazz, then Brooke's cat! That's awesome!

Aw man, that would be a cool souvenir - all those keychains... Brooke sounds like an awesome friend! And, haha... "Yosemite Wall"... I'm guessing you experienced that one? Hah, that's hilarious...

Oh, thank GOODNESS! I was really concerned about that business with Aunt Hilda. I haven't even met the woman, but she sounds simply unbearable! In Esther's words, "Thank God for Auntie Jo"!

I can tell this was a fun chapter to write. It's really light-hearted and... well... fun! Lots of surprises, and no sign of the parents anywhere. Yay!

~Cesalie

p.s. Can I adopt a kitten? :P