Interesting...although the chapters are a bit short...can you read my story and review?

Whew girl.

Well done. I finally got around to reading this, and good job. There is a lit of spelling error, but besides that, I would say there's not a lot of bad things to say about it. It keeps attention real well. Everytime I relaxed, you threw something else into my (the readers) face. The ending is genuis, making the reader yearn for more. She wonders, (or at least I do) is she a bird? Does she have wings or powers? Did she commit suicide? The mind needs to hear more!

Night Silver's Whisper
P.S. And that poor girl. I know what it feels like to have a friend squirt soda in her face. Not naming any names of course. (Points at LaLunaDea.)

Good, but it seems a little like anime rather than real life. I don't know.

Really good start, to the point and interesting.

It's caught my interest already. I love your writing style, the characterization is smooth and well thought out. The end seems a little rushed, but I can't wait to see what happens next, what Shawna's powers will manifest as, what kind of person she will be.

~TRW

Hi there chica!

Totally awesome. Ropes the imagination in within the first few lines. Having the women shoot herself in the end has the reader surprised, which is always good.

There are some places that are confusing though. In the line: "Their love was a selfish one, on a true one," this doesn't make sense to me.

That's it. Your talent has actually surprised me chica, and I mean this seriously. I saw a very small example recently of your acting skills for the first time, and was surprised, and then I read your prolog and was shocked, and now I read this chapter, and am surprised and shocked. Keep it up. My interest is hooked.

Night Silver's Whisper