FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| SwordoftheKing 2008-03-15 ch 1,  | abuseC-o-o-o-o-l... I likes it. Awe-inspiring descriptions, and no spelling errors to note. My commendations on a piece well written. |
| HeyNow 2007-05-15 ch 1, | abuseVery impressive. I think I captured its meaning. I interpreted the chasm as Death, or the end of one's Life. Mainly due to fact that the girl was drawn ever closer to the edge until she fell. The other side is the after life, or Heaven. Everyone wants to reach the other side, but as was said, there is no bridge or tree tall enough to reach it. The air that dropped the girl to her knees and seemed to "enslave" her is a little more tricky. I eventually decided that it might either be things in our culture that entice and bring us short of reaching the other side. Or, since it was air, something unescapable or something that we cannot live without (in short something we are born with), it could be the Sin we are born into this world with. Please let me know if I was even close. |
| AluminumMuse 2007-05-14 ch 1, | abuseI don't really understand the point of it, but it is still quite interesting. I apriciate that it is brief. It will be more powerful if you avoid using the word 'very' or 'extremely' or anything like that, and instead use stronger words. For a piece like this, it would also be more fitting to use a style of powerful verbs and nouns but few adjectives and adverbs (think 1920's). Keep writting. -Feather |
| KimHua 2007-05-12 ch 1, | abuseIntriguing... :-) Lots of questions and not a lot of answers. Some nice description, too. :-) |