Not bad. Kind of reminds me of the alleged curse of Amen-Ra.


The narrator insists she isn't a science person, yet some of her language suggests otherwise; I'd dial that down a little. Strange wording in parts, like "preponderant idea." When I see "preponderant," I think of preponderance of evidence. It'd be a lot of work, but you could rewrite this in the present tense. Maybe even have more than one POV in the narration. I think the macabre element lends itself to a Poe-esque type of story. Haven't read any of Philip K. Dick's work, but I've seen some of the films they've adapted from his stories. Cheers Brit.

I enjoyed the story. Your prose is very engaging and believable.

@_@ Wow.

I'm not smart enough for your writing anymore!

But... that was really neat. I loved the voice it's narrated in, although I couldn't decide whether it should be a man or a woman. o_o It had a complex creepiness to it that made me ponder these things. I love it.

Great job Britt

xoxo