I thought this was beautiful. Several very beautiful thoughts in it. At the beginning, the repetition of "And by his actions" could be different... it would be powerful if it were repeated throughout the entire work, but since it is only at the beginning, it's just kind of pointless. I thought you had a lot of great things to say and said them beautifully... If this were broken into lines and stanzas it would be more artful, just because having a BLOCK of text tends to be a little hard on the mind and eyes. :) Great GREAT work, however.

-Jesse

OMG! This was amazing!

*TSP

Nice. Creative, not sappy or depressing. The first line drew me in.

Here you say "the earths are preserved." and later "the turning of the earth."; make them match. If multiple worlds are not too important, I'd modify the first one, because it's potentially jarring.

Good point in the fourth stanza. Hope is essential, even if we never do "wake in glory" before death. "who run through sorrow and woe" is also good.