oh wow. i was not expecting the ending. it was really powerful. i liked that you addressed him there (wonderland boy) too, for some reason it was a great effect. also i really liked the chapstick for some reason, i don't know why, it just added a personal touch or something. only thing: i didn't really like the numbers there, maybe you could seperate the two parts with a line instead?
but it liked it, and remember: review game!
~fatbird:)

I liked this one the best so far. It's really touching and it teaches a lesson to boys, well if they read it it would. It's sad, it's sweet, so it makes this bittersweet. I'm listening to the "Almost Lover" by Fine Frenzy and that just made this so much more love able.

Everything to you~

really, really amazing. i love the last lines. i think this is so good because there is real emotion behind it. it's not something manufactured because you think that's how heartbreak //should// feel. congrats!

I loved it. It was really good.

*adds to favs*

=]

Finally. A non cheesey poem about love and heartbreak THANK YOU. +favorite

♥

The style, the diction, the--

Everything.

This is perfect.

- Noelle

This poem rocks! such a great and playful use of words... I loved it...

I liked this, except for the verse, "you're my wonderland boy with the beer bottle eyes/and you tell me in your sugar voice/that i'm your butterfly girl" because there seems to be too many adjectives there. But yeah, overall, very original and poetic. Nice job.