I thnk dts an awkward feeling, u seems to say dt u love her whn u fell short in life (sun alwz sets)... otherwise she will only remain fairy tale if u succeed in life :(

its abit weird when u said your love only comes at night. if fairy tales on come at night, dont you want to create your own magical thinggy when the sun rises? sth just for you love?

sorry if i was rude~just giving some ideas~

Wow, really well written, words chosen with deep thought, its pulsing with emotion, no improvement needed, great poem, keep writing... and i'll keep reading!
~Lurid~

cute =]