Aww, that was a sweet ending. I especially liked how you said that Samantha was going home in particular. All in all, I think this is a cute little story you have here. Congrats. ^.^

You might want to elongate the ending a bit. I seemed sort of odd to just have the helicopter suddenly appear. Try going into a little more detail.

Overall, Nice work! :)

Aww, that's nice, at least. I like the fact that they decided to carry her ashes rather than simply burning her. I thought that was a nice little touch, something much different than the usual.

There were a few details I thought I would point out. I don't think their families would have to pay to have someone search the general area the ship had been at. After all, it is a missing persons case. That, and I find it a little odd how they all know how to fish and built fireds without matches and all. You might want to mention one of the boys being in the boy scouts or something, that way it wouldn't sound so weird. Just thought I'd point it out.

I'm almost caught up!

Aww! That's so sad. I feel really sorry for Cory. Poor guy. I think you did better at connecting with you characters' feeling in this chapter. I could really tell Cory was in pain watching her suffer. You did great in that aspect.

I felt that this chapter could have been a lot longer. YOu didn't really describe what Samantha was attcked by and I think the readers would be really interested in that detail, especially if it was severe enough to kill her.

Reading on...

Again, the point on which you ended the chapter was really good. Especially since you didn't tell exactly what her wounds were like, etc. you have added to the suspence of the story. I hope Samantha's okay!

I might suggest that you create a different story to have Cory tell. Some people might take offence to the whole killing Jesus thing. Sometimes it's best to stick away from topics like that because, trust me, flamers are everywhere!

Reading on!

Hmm, I like the way you ended the chapter. A cliff hanger is one of the best tactics to use when you want to keep your readers attention. You really manage to do that here. Great job on that! I also noticed your vocabulary was better in this chapter as well. ^.^

I felt like there was too much dialoge toward the end of the chapter. You were doing pretty well at the beginning trying to balance descriptions and words. Just try to keep that equilibrum.

Oh! Adrian and Arielle getting a little wild on the island, huh? I like the fact that you did better with your descriptions in this chapter. The chapter itself was also a little longer, which made it more enjoyable to read.

I think it would be best if you spell out the numbers you have iat the beginning of this chapter and in any others. By spelling things out, it makes it look a little more professional. :)

Aww, this chapter was really sweet. It was obvious that they both liked each other. I like how you got Drew to reveal that he liked her. I thought it was very clever, much better than him just saying it at some awkward moment. Good job there.

Again, I felt like there could be more detail, but I think your giving it your best shot. :) You might also want to consider getting a beta for your story. There are some formatting problem here, but they can easily be fixed if someone looks over them. Just thought I would let you know.

Reading on...

I really like the way you have Drew and Carolina interact with each other. I think it's really sweet. You can have them know they like each other, yet be really comfortable with each other as well. That's a hard relationship to describe. Good job on that.

Again, I think it would do the chapter good to have more detail put into it. Like at the beginning instead of just listing the groups, why not write the scene where they decide on it? It would add to length and detail. Just a suggestion.

Movie on... :)

I like how you immediately go into the heart of the story. I know it's pleasing to many readers here and fictionpress. It helps to drag you reader in and keep them interested in what's going on. Great job.

I felt like there was a little too much dialoge in this chapter. I would have liked to know more about the place they washed up on. Try to describe the place. Is it desolate? Is it teeming with barbaric natives? Have fun with the descriptions and you reader will too.

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Ha! I like the accents you tried to put on at the beginning of the story. Your characters are British right? It made me smile that I could actually recognize it. You dialoge is also very entertaining.

You might want to introduce everyone a bit more slowly. There were so many names that it was hard for me to keep up with them all. Plus, if you introduced them slower, you could add more decription of what they were like.

Reading on...

Lol! Awesome!! I love this story! The characters are unique. I'm putting up a new story called "Back To Track One", you should go check it out.