this is a sad, sad story. but cute too.haha=D good job

Their reasons for suicide weren't very convincing, it should have been more dramatic and tragic I reckon. That said,I really liked the last line-'twas very emphatic- and it was overall well-written.
Cheers! [=

...I don't know, I don't think they had a very good reason to commit suicide. The heroes of stories like this are usually more plucky, but Christian and Rebecca didn't think very hard before deciding to throw their lives away. At the least, they could've run off together; Rebecca said she didn't care about money.

The basic formatting and paragraph structure should work fine, but to make the suicide angle work, you should add more obstacles in Christian and Rebecca's paths; make their situation more hopeless. This will give your story more emotional impact.

Best of luck to you.

id like it if they didnt die

omg
soo sad
:(
i don't do angst lol
but nicely written
although i know it was meant to be a oneshot, it could've been a tad longer.