Blinks eyes, walks slowly backwards. Nice fantasy sequences, Utterly crazy alternate universe sequences. Characters are insane (in a good way). Setting is fine. Think the names are a tad off though. Don't ask me how, they're just confusing. (Again I'm not one to talk.)

sorry i just got around to reviewing the next chapter. ive had a busy week with school. anyway, so Dawn has a different personality and they are all in an alternate reality where only Lete-kun can remember everything right? and Kabel as well...

wait from slashing monsters to a snowball fight (i was a bit confused there). some mention of meteor which reminded me of final fantasy vii . all of a sudden he is in a new world with a demon he instantly accepts as a friend (it seems to go by so fast i dont know if thats the manga style as ive never read manga before reading ur fics). maybe if the pace was slower it would be more believable and Dawn was in his new world but different (Dawn the archer.. she probably wont remember him like Mikoto in the first chapter of Ayane Cerberus).

Knock knock, me again!

Again, grammar and spelling. I know that you're not a native English speaker, but that's a good reason to improve your use of it, especially since you're writing for people who are proficient at it.

The events in the first chapter are too "videogame-ripped-off" for my liking. Even the meteor thing. It reminded me too much of Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy VII and other one I don't remember the name of. AND a play session of Dungeons&Dragons. I know, I know, it's supposed to be a Fantasy story, but I think you need to plan the plot, and not write the story as it comes to your mind.

I'm off for now. Ja-ne!

"**"- i think you meant "wore", but it really should be "wear" since the rest of it is in present tense.
You use too many ellipses.

Um.. I thought they were fighting monsters? What's with the snowball fight thing?
The Deron Demon- Selete thinks it's going to eat him one second, and the next he's saying it's nice and becoming friends with it? And he's not afraid? If I woke up in some foreign place, with some Demon thing, I'm pretty sure I'd be freakin' out. And then he just accepts that he's going to be living there?! That is completely unrealistic.

"cloths"- "clothes"

This is interseting. I can't wait to see what will happen next. I like Kabel...Sounds like a mix of Kain and Able. I wonder if that were some sort of inspiration?

Pirates. Pshht.

Oh man... So lost... Maybe the next chapter will help me along. I do love Dawn and Kabel though.
Haha, the meteor.

Haha, Brook. What a **. I like the name 'Kabel'. It reminds me of... Something... I dunno what, though... Hmm... Anyways, who IS Rika? Eh? Love?
The memories at the bottom are a nice little touch.
Lookie! No critizing! YAY!

Interesting story...It definitely has potential.

I'd like to see more of your writing. Too bad this doesn't have any reviews...It definitely is worthy of them.

Perhaps if you had time, you could check out some of my stories.