Reviews for Springtime - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Springtime

jrsparkus 2008-08-27 ch 1,	abusei loved it, it had the emotion of years conjured into one poem of simplistic lust. well; the way i read it, i thought of lust and agonizing love that wasn't returned. question, did you have a specific rhyme scheme for this poem? i found no rhyming lines except for (below), so i was just wondering. if you ever make it all-rhyming; message me (i'm a lover of rhymimg poems). Count down from nine As he plays knick-knack Down my spine. Divide and conquer, Rip it apart, Slipping a disk Is only the start.
HISTRIONICS. 2007-06-29 ch 1,	abusewow. i am truly blown away by this. it was so beautifully done! obviously, a romantic scene. but not trashy or tacky, or anything like that. i've never seen a writing style quite like yours. this was really, really good. :DD
substitute angel 2007-06-28 ch 1,	abuseWow. This was really very good. It has strong imagery and it's deep, deeper than just the words written. You've got a way with words and it shows here in this poem. I liked it a lot. Most especially all the adjectives, the use of red, the abstract themes, and the overall tone of this. Keep up the good work.
Ramenluver 2007-06-27 ch 1,	abuseI like how this poem was a bit abstract. Instead of focussing on one subject, you jumped around alot, and the imagery changed from flowers to a bedroom etc. as you did so. I've never read a poem like this. It was different. Good different.
InViSiBlE wOmAn 2007-06-27 ch 1,	abuseI really like this poem, especially the lines And beauty is not Unique to the flower. and (a secret tucked away in the corner) Very beautiful, good job!
Icicle Tears 2007-06-27 ch 1,	abuseOh. My. Holy. Gods. Above. This is everything I've yet to feel, everything I've dreamed. My connection with the imagery here is so strong it hurts. How do you do this every time? -Icicle Tears
Arrows 2007-06-21 ch 1,	abuseHey! Thanks so much for reviewing my story. I was quite eager to return the favor, so I decided to check out your work ;). I really like this poem. The sentences are simple, but not choppy, which is good. I'm really bad at poetry so I'm not quite sure what you are trying to communicate here - I get a sense of "spring fever" urgency though, haha. Nice. My one qualm is that the poem seems to ramble along, regardless of the smoothness of the sentences. I'm kind of a "no nonsense" reader when it comes to poetry, so I'd like to see some concepts... abbreviated, if that makes sense. But it's not up to me to choose what to do away with - YOU are the creative genius behind this work ;). Good job and keep writing!
Susurrus 2007-06-15 ch 1,	abuse...wow... just been watching 'American Beauty' so this is especially visualized in my head...so many perfect lines... "beauty is not unique to the flower". This is utterly beautiful. Don't stop now.
Arter 2007-06-13 ch 1,	abuseWhile reading this I thought of something that I wanted to say about it. I was going to say that I felt the words were very great, but it seemed to jump around too often/abruptly. Then I got to the last line and scratched that, because it makes it tie together perfectly. Great work.
Anaare 2007-06-10 ch 1,	abuseA very sensual poem, or as a previous reviewer said, yearning. I think that best describes this. You have created a strong poem here, with some beautiful imagery. Although I would have liked to see a bit more work done on the format and lay-out (perhaps dividing it into stanzas?), this is really a very small point of critique. So, truly good work and many thanks for the reviews.
S. Ben Beach 2007-06-04 ch 1,	abuseThe content found In your room speaks volumes -that line already got me in. love the yearning and the season references. you never seem to disappoint. :)
Maisha Mafuriko 2007-05-18 ch 1,	abuseSuch an interesting play on the passing of the seasons as well as daytime and nighttime ~ and how our lives mesh within. How here in the present we note the passing as a future we behold in our thots. Yes, the decor of our room speaks volumns... A writing that encourages deeper thot. I like it.
His Mercy's Waiting 2007-05-17 ch 1,	abuseThe ending was fantastic! Actually, the whole poem was great, but I especially loved the ending. Hmm...I also like the little snippets you put in parentheses. "Two-hundred-six degrees Celsius"...:) Keep writing!
bookworm411 2007-05-17 ch 1,	abuseI really like your poem. The yearning, physically and metaphorically really pulls you.

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