Hello! This was nice. The turning point was unexpected which was all the better. The only thing that bothered me (for some strange reason) was the religious hypocrite part, seemed a bit out of place is all. A bit too concise for the rest of the word choice. Anyways, I liked the punctuation which was different and the story that was told in so short a time. Great job none the less!
have a good one

O the ANGER! i could totally feel it.

Yes. It would be interesting wouldn't it? Well, tell them to write their version of it, then. I SO want to read it...

This wasn't...too bad...Ok, I didn't like it at all. It lacked flow, and it was too short. Nice try, though. If I were you, I'd try again.

SF

Love the one word concept. Could be a little longer. Over-all, not too bad...Could be a lot better, but not bad.