unusually (but beautifully) worded/described. liked the Ophelia image a lot. the whole lexicon you picked was unique. the ending I felt a little so-so about, but I have since warmed up to it in the past few minutes. this almost reads like poetry, which is awesome. nice work!

Very nicely written. I think Virginia Woolf would have loved it ;)

I am a fan of this kind of bold imagery. The piece is quite thoughtful too, making me want to dawdle over it.

Woah. This...this is poetic. See, this has feeling and emotion (compared to your haiku). At first I thought the "red eyes" were eyes just affected by pollen and allergies. But it's more of a metaphor, I guess -- hatred of the summer, hatred of bacchanalia, hatred of sex and vulgarity, etc.

I think the most emotional scene is within the last paragraph. (My favorite line is "scraps of poetry around you, Opheliaesque, grotesque" -- which brings to mind, of course, Ophelia from Hamlet, who ended her life by drowning herself. Which makes the reader realize that the main character is drowning herself.)

This is awesome, and I loved it.

-McQuinn

Usually I tend to skip a lot of the suicidal angst pieces because to me, a lot of them are very similar...but yours caught my eye...so good summary to begin with! I really like the way this is written...it seemed to have a natural flow and i loved the term 'womb-tomb', it was fascinating. I like how you tied the beginning and the end together, becase for some reason, in brief pieces a lot of people tend to think that they don't have to. Some interesting imagery. I really liked it. well done.

Aww, such a and-they-live-happily-ever-after ending! This was so pure. Great one!

[jojoba-music-girl]