The opening line just draws the reader in, and the movement through the lines: "gulped through your sugary mouth until I was pulled through"

It's always a good thing when you can use the same word twice in close proximity and not make it seem overtly repetitive. I didn't even realize you used "through" twice. :) Lovely.

Also, the contradiction of condescending and transcending. That's exactly the type of word play that I love the most.

I love how it ends full of personal pronouns. "Me, you... you" What a simple yet effective ending. It resonates... it's such a human emotion, and it ends accordingly.

Very short compared to you're normal stuff. And do I sense some kind of pentameter here? Or is that just my imagination. Anyway its great. I like it, like I love all your stuff.

god.

i cried when i read this one.

it's just- it's honestly funny how good writers can take something that happens to everyone, that everyone feels like, and turn it something unmistakeably GORGEOUS.

you are talented.

I love how you start it with not being drunk and then go into the description of basically getting drunk off of someone.. I also like the ending and how you state that they knew too... thats an interesting piece of info

I love this idea, getting drunk off someone, because I know exactly the feeling. "An alteration of sex- condescening/and transcending." I like how you are getting drunk off him, yet you describe him as drinking you (through his "sugary mouth"...very nice).

I don't understand Alteration of Sex yet, though. Is he using you, using your inclination to get drunk off of him to condescend and transcend? All the while, "you felt it, you knew." He was fully aware of what he was doing.

Some many questions raised. Intriguing.

Lovely...this is so beautiful. Heh, i don't think you'll ever cease to amaze me :p

gorgeous

beyond gorgeous.

there's something about that phrase :

"pulled through

an alteration of sex"

that just sparks off so many connotations, it's amazing..

and the last line. pathos, pleading, resignation, certainty.

i love

i weep

i worship :P

I so know what you're talking about this piece. It brings back many memories of failed love. Great piece!

it is short

but it accomplishes something interestingly beautiful

I really like this one.

One of my favs.

Good work.

xx

oh, gorgeous! the way sex should be.

Oh, wow, that is powerful. So gorgeously worded. Really perfect. Amazing. Keep writing! :)

This is specific, and to the point. It captures a universal theme that all can relate to, but can not put into words this concretely. Very well written. MD:77.

this is wonderful. desciptive. i like it.

wow. I can relate. I love the description of a "sugary mouth" and the way it ends "you felt it, you knew" almost forboding and incomplete. Very nice