This is a first haiku attempt? It's so good for a first attempt. I like the last line. (Blood thorns on her mouth) Very twisted but beautiful.

-C.N

ok, haiku isnt just a short poem, you should know that, is about spirutual things, the stations and the ordinary life...this poem is called hokku cause haiku is about funny things...well. i still like your poem but it is not a haiku, i really dont want to sound rude...it's just to let you know that you used the structure of a haiku or hokku but you didnt write one.

i will write a short poem to...its just my opinion and yes i like your poem and your work.

This world is ((In State Of Agony))

hm... the contrasting feeling...

nice...

This is very good.

I love how even when doing haikus you can evoke such raw and yet appealing images in one's mind.

Lovely.

Good poem.

SirScott

not bad for your first haiku at all! The only thing i would suggest is to add punctuation marks to help the flow of it... otherwise it was pretty good. It must reflect how you do on your other works so i'll check out you're other works soon! keep writing!

This is truly amazing for a first attempt at a haiku. Hell, it's great even if you'd written countless haiku. I like the phrases and the overall mood of this one. Well done!

This is amazing! I'm adding it to my favourites.

Rowan.

Better'n I could do. Seriously, though, it's great!

It's great! "Broken fantasies" is a great phrase. Nice job!