oh! Is this the prequel of Lost in Adoration? (ops...)

Poor Mimi, she was all excited and stuff... sigh... man oh man... honestly a man's heart changes so easily.

For some reason, whenever I read the name Mimi in here, I think of my childhood anime (lameness alert) digimon... you know the girl with pink hair... and a cowboy hat? Anyway yeah. >_<

I will read on later (Currently in exam week... so yep!)
Nice start... so I assume that Mimi is going to meet Stephen somehow... somewhere... _

Bleah... Shoji has lost all his cool points with me, I really don't think I'll ever like him, sorry if like the character, but to me he seems really... childish and emotional. Stephen, on the other hand, has got some coold points from me, and its pretty awesome that he and Mimi are together now. Mimi, she seems like her usual self, and I think she ended up with the better guy. Kayla, I really don't feel like talking about her.

As for CC...well, there wasn't anyhting wrong in this chapter to me, it was one of your better chapters.

Great chapter, I'll be sure to read more after I finish chapter 3 of my story!

Durandel

Stephanie... strange name for a gun, though it kinda symbolizes something, I'm not quite sure though, mayde its like his counterpart. Shoji... he always seems mood swingish to me, from being happy in one second, and thrashing a woman around his house. Kayla did deserve it though, she was a real witch for lying about being pregnant. Stephen is a badass with the gun, though he didn't fire it, you could feel his seiousness, nice touch. Really though, Shoji needs to learn to calm down.

As for your fight scenes... well, for one thing, don't use phrases like 'out of nowhere', it kinda makes the whole scene childish, phrases like: "the door burst open, Kayla's body flying out, crashing into a painting on the wall," or something like that. Kinda cescribe the whole thing like a step by step process, but not mechanically, add some feeling to it. Though I can't say much, my fight scenes with Isaac seem very emotionless...

Overall though, the chapter was pretty nice, I gotta see a side to people and some history was revealed.

On to the next!

Hm... Shoji seems pretty happy, though I can see why, his love just said yes to marry him, though I can't help but feel sorry for Stephen, though looking at the summary of your latest story I can see whos going ot end up with who. Still, your turns are very unexpected, and its nice to be surprised. Kayla... she really irritates me, kinda obsessive and scary when she wants Shoji. Good cliffhanger ending as well.

For CC... well, sometimes your dialouge tends to be a bit unbelievable, but thats probably because you tend to leave out commas and other things that indicate a pause, if you would add those into the sentence, then the words would flow pretty nicely. If you just have one long sentence without a pause, then the sentence sounds really convoluted when it come out. Thats about all I can see so far, its an overall nice and interesting chapter.

On to the next!

Durandel

P.S. Thank for your review on my poems, Light within Darkness was written to express the comforting sound of your mother's voice, it really can bring you down when you're in a tough spot. Those with you... the two people were parents, at least my definition of parents, ones who support you and don't expect anyhting in return, I'm a very family-oriented guy, as you can probably tell. Sorry for the large gap in review times, I swear that I'm not doing it unpurpose.

Pretty dramatic chapter this time, sorry for the late review again, I really have to stop being lazy...

Shoji seems kinda torn, and I really am feeling sorry for the guy now, hes isn't the jerk from before. Stephen has some criminal background... I think, and he seems to really love Mimi, as I'm sure that Mimi loves him now too.

One complaint... The story seems a bit fast right now, but the plot is progressing pretty smoothly, don't worry about that, it just seems a bit... too quick for my tastes. Other than that its a good story, no worries about that there.

I gotta hit the sack, I'll review again soon!

Durandel

P.S. Sorry I haven't sent you any data on my creations, but I can give you a quick explanation, they attack randomly, but only at strong people, if that makes any sense.

A lot of drama in this chapter, with all the emotion just flying back and forth between the two developing couples, but it was good and developing drama.

Shoji... hm... that... what could be the word for him? Jerk? Hypocrite? Twofaced? He really seems to be extremely two-faced to me, I mena, he drops Mimi in the first chapter, and then he just comes back to get her, and then he goes and sleeps with his current 'girlfriend', really annoying to me. It takes talent though, to create a complex xharacter as him though, so kudos for you on that.

Little CC from me on this one, past reviews should have told you everything so far.

Overall, Good and deep chapter, two thumbs up.

Durandel

P.S. Don't wanna talk about my story on a review, so I'll PM you on the cimmerii's motivations a bit later.

...Wow, this was a pretty funny chapter, especially Mimi's comment abou tthe hokey pokey, made me chuckle. Though I gotta say, Stephen came on a little strong, though a lot of manga's have guys like that, so I guess its alright.

Mimi, well, she seems like a little kid, what with the digging through DVDs and eating ferociously, though its was kinda cute, in a way. Shoji wasn't that bad this chapter, though he really needs to make up his mind of what girl he wants, he really seems two faced right now.

CC... make sure to punctuate correctly, you had a lot of sentences that need a ? but you put a period, it threw me off sometimes.

Overall this was an entertaining chapter.

Keep Writing!

Durandel

So the guy with the dog is her boss huh? Interesting...

Shoji still ** me off, but I gues I'm gonna have to deal with it. Mimi is rather energetic, eventhough she seems to be jumping from place to place. Stephen seems like a nice guy, and judging from that incident last chapter, he really seems like a dog person. Overall you have a good cast of chracters, which is crucial to a good story.

For CC... nothing I haven't already told you.

Plot seems kinda slow right now, but I'm pretty sure it'll pick up at later chapters. Just right now things were moving at a slow pace until the end, which only made me hate Shoji even more, still, it is interesting.

Overall, good chapter.

Keep Writing!

Durandel

Sorry if this review is a bit short, I'm reivewing in the middle of class.

I gotta say,the chracter of Shoji makes me mad greatly, I dunno, I guess with the was he treated Mimi in the first chapter makes me mad.Mimi so far is my favorite chracter, but I pretty sure you were planning that, something with her spontaneous personality reminds me of my sister, which is pretty cool, its always good to have a MC that one can relate with.

For CC, a little more detail in the enviroment would be nice, I can't help but imagine a big white space at times if details about the enviroment are left out. I understand in this case though, they are in a city, its not that hard to imagine one. I am captivated by details, which you probably already know from my story, so that view is kinda biased.

As for plot, it reminds me of a Korean drama, which I happen to be a big fan of, so this captured me greatly, I can't say much right now, but this is a pretty interesting plot, especially with that random part at the end.

Well, this wasn't so short of a review, so I guess thats pretty good, I'm sorry it was late, but like you, I have been buried under work, but Spring Break it coming up soon, so that'll give me some time. I'll be sure to read this some more later.

Keep writing!

Durandel

The story started off kinda sudden like, but it was an intrest capturer. Reading this chapter made me want to know what happened, so that was a good show of raising the reader's speculations. You could do with a little bit more details, but that may be a little baised from me because I tend to go on and on on some paragraphs.

Some advice I could give is just that you need to add a little bit more detials, it could really capture the effect and emotion of a scene. Add that, and this story will probably make me feel a little depressed.

Overall, it caught my interest.

I'll be back for more!

Durandel

I felt kind of sorry for Shoji but he wasn't my favorite character. I still liked Stephen and Sheila, I think was her name. Sorry if I get it wrong but the character I was referring to was the african american woman with the sarcastic mouth. She was such a fun character and I hope that you bring her back int he sequel. I'll definitely be looking forward to it.

This was a great end to a fantastic story. I'm sad to see it finally end but I'm happy to see that there will be a sequel.

I'm being lazy so I don't feel like logging in, lol. This was a great chapter and it had me on the edge of my seat with everything that happened. It was very sudden when Fumiko died but I kind of had the feeling that someone was going to die in this chapter for some odd reason. I can't wait to see more from you!

Please don't kill him. I love Stephen to death! I'd be angry if Mimi ended up with Shoji. I can't believe anyone would want him dead...Or maybe it's my Shoji hatred.

This is definitely a great chapter and lovely story. I love your plot-twist style that you used. I often use that gimmick as well. I think it keeps your readers interested in your works.

I really hope that you keep this story around, it's definitely my favorite (too soon to judge your other one) and I know that I'd definitely read more if you posted a new chapter.

~Melissa~

Poor Mimi. I definitely hope that Stephen or some outside force can do something to stop this union. I think that Shoji is the one who should burn in hell. I don't like him all the more now.

Must read the last chapter you have posted, then be dissapointed that I can't read anymore until you decide what you're going to do with this little story.

Finally! Finally they become official! Definitely a great chapter! Probably my favorite and you did a wonderful job at a partially erotic scene.