Lovely title. Good job on imagery. Nice work.

~Twilight Starr~

The only reason why you feel that it needs another stanza is because you don't get it at all and I understand. I purposely make my poetry either easy or hard to understand, depending on if I am in the mood for you to think about it for a while (which I usually want with short poems) or get it immediately (cause you and I both don't want to analyze a huge 2 page poem... I do have the reader in mind when I write).

The poem is about two people - two stanzas. Get it? Of course you don't, but you could keep reading if you really wanted to, cause that's all I'm going to give you on the meaning.

I like this but I have issues with the second stanza. I get the imagery and it's very quirky different but at the same time I feel that you're being vague for the sake of being vague in some areas and the copper&shine doesn't quite link up.

I think a third stanza, to separate the two, might provide more insight into the contrast and contradiction of these two images. Something that by simply placing them side by side doesn't quite happen. The last line feels very out of the blue to me as well and I think it's because of this.

Otherwise, you've got an interesting way with words that I like.

.:midnight:.