 Nirnaeth Arnoediad 2007-05-24 . chapter 1I really enjoyed this. The tone is really nice and perfect for the subject, especially in the final paragraph, and I love the way you put the title in German; it gives the words a much more visceral feel. There are a couple of typos, though. In the first paragraph, "That is out way" should be "our", I think, and in the second to last paragraph "what he lived for" should be "we". Also, in the third paragraph when you write "hideous mismatches.." and then say "they were hideous" in the next senetence, it's kind of repetitive. Other than that, though, this was a really amazing piece; good job. |