FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Sirione 2007-06-02 ch 1,  | abuseMesmerizing. You have a way with words that touches the depth of things. Powerful piece. |
| Gaki Toki 2007-05-24 ch 1, | abuseO.o I'm not quite sure how to respond. So I'll do the best I can. It's a good poem, striking, moving. Not breathtaking but usually breathtaking poetry has backgrounds in more delightful and joyous sources. The last line of your poem is probably the most striking part, not simply because of what it says but the building and building and the "what's going on?" of the poem. Eyes are drawn downward but we can't skip a line lest we lose the poem's meaning or the poem's strength and then...then your eyes hit the last line and you stop. You stare at it, like it didn't happen. It couldn't have happened. We feel that you've betrayed us but we can't change it. We're not the writers of our lives. None of us. Je regret, I've ranted yet again. I may certainly stop by again perhaps. ~Gaki |