|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| AfterPartyFiasco 2008-08-03 ch 1, | abuseHeyy! This poem made me 'Aw...' It was sweet and cute; however, you have a few mistakes but they're nothing major. Here are some though... And there is nothing more that the smell of your hair ...I think the 'that' is supposed to be 'than' In all the dreaming ways, I look for his sine ...what does 'sine' mean? Hehe. :D It’s when I lost my life that has for name your eyes ...you're supposed to put 'a' in between 'for' and 'name' Nothing major as you see, so please do continue the great job! Lol. :D |
| Penance for her sins 2007-08-25 ch 1, | abuse‘The day I lost your eyes is nothing close to a day’- The receptiveness to this line, in many differing variations, I believe is what strikes a chord with readers the most. In respective to myself, this line, though perhaps about-unrequited love, or a failed love for you, resonated for me on different level. Having lost someone very important to me, I was instantaneously reminded of that instance. You should feel self-congratulatory; you had great use of emotive language--very moving for me once more. |