Reviews for The Silver Tower - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: The Silver Tower - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Areneth 2008-07-23 ch 5,	abuseAll in all, this is a really good story. I'm glad you posted it, and I'm glad I read it. I feel that if you wanted, you could expand a bit more on it. You could develop the characters a bit more, like Pieter. Every character needs to play their part, and yours did very well, but they are still people with lives and I think the story could be made better if you expanded a little bit more on that. Other than that, good job! Thanks for posting it!
Areneth 2008-07-23 ch 4,	abuseAnother good chapter! What a dark ending, it was very sad. But it was well-written all the same. There were some continuity issues between this chapter and the last. In the last chapter, you left me with Marcel practically dead and Saran worrying over him, and in the next, he somehow transformed into this amazingly-built, strong and capable man. That made hardly any sense. The transformation from one to the other is necessary for the reader, and it was completely left out. The second continuity gap was about halfway through when you wrote, "“This way.” And suddenly Aurelius the magician appeared in front of her, and held his staff aloft. He opened his mouth to speak a word of power--then he seemed to change his mind abruptly, and simply swung the wooden implement hard at Saran’s head. This time, they didn’t bother with a fancy room or a balcony with a view." You seemed to jump from the chase, to after being captured without at all describing how they got captured. It's a bit too startling of a jump for the reader to follow comfortably. And 'story' plural is 'stories, and not 'storeys.' Aside from that, this chapter was captivating. I saw everything very well, and all of the sensations you described were clear. Perhaps, if you want to write in a way the reader can understand to an even greater degree, you can describe more from the other senses. Most of your description is through sight, and touch. It would be even more fantastic if you portrayed senses of smell, or taste, those senses are often neglected because they seem less, when they can add a lot to a story. Otherwise, your description is appropriate and clear.
Areneth 2008-07-22 ch 3,	abuseHey! This chapter was very good. All of the images are very clear to me, and I can relate to the protagonists, which is amazing because we have hardly anything in common. You are an accomplished writer. Your words flow well together, and the dialog is appropriate and well-written. I thought that Saran's act with the pedestal was somewhat pathetic. There is no way that an emaciated girl, who has been inactively locked in a tower would be able to pick up and run with a pedestal, let alone outrun a guard. It simple is not feasible. Although it is humorous and entertaining, it is still a bit too far-fetched. And about three-quarters of the way through, when you wrote, "She could not remember a single thing that had happened to her before she had been locked up in the Silver Tower," I felt that the italicization of that entire sentence was unnecessary. A few words within the sentence would be appropriate, but I feel like you are trying to emphasize something too heavily, and it mocks the reader because the weight of the sentence without the italicization is fully recognizable. Other than that, your writing is awesome. It's a pleasure to read your story - you've got me hooked.
Areneth 2008-07-22 ch 2,	abuseHey! This is a good story. Thank you for posting it! I like your voice, and your vocabulary is broad unlike that of so many other writers on this site. I thank you for being grammatically correct, it makes the story enjoyable. The plot is interesting. I never thought that Rapunzel was a very thoughtful story, but you have morphed it into something interesting and worthwhile. I look forward to reading the rest. ~AnnA~
TheQuietWriter 2008-06-25 ch 5,	abuseVery interesting story. It was different, which made it good (Not that different always = good, but in this case, it was). I enjoyed discovering Saran's past along with her.
Carmel March 2008-06-21 ch 5,	abuseAmazing ending to the story. Thanks so much for writing this :) Hope to see more from you in the future! ~Carm~
maewen 2008-05-27 ch 5,	abuseWait WHAT?! That can't be the end! It's so wrong! This story is amazing! I usually don't like stories that are so short, but I honestly thought I had gone through more than five chapters when I was reading it. But just ending it?! That's so mean! You have to at least do a sequel!
terrorofthehighway 2008-05-23 ch 5, anon.	abuseYes, this is your best work to date, no competition. It's wonderful, a unique retelling of the Rapunzel tale. Will there be a sequel?
Weave-Words 2008-05-04 ch 1,	abuseGreat story your've written here! ^-^ I love the medieval themes coming in here. I like the storyline, the characters are complex and the storyline seems all plotted and thought through well. So many mysterys to solve. I like Saran, she's a good character; her helping Marcel like that. I like your writing style. You use nice structures and good imagery. Nice twist on Rapunzel at the start. Anyway gotta keep reading! :) Might do more reviews in coming parts. xxoxx Rhiannon
RioSamba Rose 2008-05-04 ch 5,	abuseWow, I think that is a very well deserved ego trip ^_^
liminalzest 2008-05-04 ch 5,	abusethat was a wonderful story. you maintained the suspense throughout the story. so enjoy the ego trip (at least as far as this story is concerned) - you deserve it!
Akaru-chan 2008-05-04 ch 5,	abuseWell done. Wonderfully well done. Very few pieces of fiction can have your style of taste to it. I enjoyed it thoroughly. However, I also feel that this story deserves a sequel of some sort. :p
Zireaell 2008-01-19 ch 3,	abuseI enjoyed the story so far immensely. I can't help but judge it in my mind against published works and not random unfinished drafts. What I enjoyed most was probably your manner of storytelling rather than the actual plot. Everything flowed, and the language and style were rather intriguing. I don't usually take well to omniscient narration, but I have barely noticed it. The lack of info dumps and the immersion approach worked rather well. The lack of clear black and white, good and evil was a relief to say the least. As to the characters themselves, I have thoroughly enjoyed the feeling that they too could make mistakes, though this somewhat disappeared by the third part. Unfortunately, I couldn't really say that I've grown attached to any of the characters, and I'm not as concerned as a reader probably should be as to whether or not everything turns out for them. I can't really pinpoint why that is, perhaps the distant narration (although the narration itself was great). As to the plot, I'm left with a single question - why weren't Marcel and Saran simply killed? The good old fashion style I mean. Overall, this is probably one of the best texts I've come across on fictionpress. Hoping to read more of it.
AnneGirl15 2008-01-17 ch 1,	abuseVery good story. Keep up the good work :)
alycat722 2007-06-27 ch 3,	abuseOnce again I am amazed! This chapter was really good. What happens to Marcel and Saran? Anyways, thanks for reviewing my story! The encouragement made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. :)

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