That was really good...Really sad though. It sounded rather professional. I thought that was interesting...how you wrote in the same way as famous poets (it seems like something in the eyes of Edgar Allan Poe...) I think it's rather cool that you seem to do that in this and your other pieces...Like your pieces are wonderful...but always appear to be in a different perspective. The figurative language is always great...But I feel like I'm not seeing your voice. You take on other voices a lot...Maybe that is your voice though. Maybe you camoflague into the perspective of the piece that you want to write. I don't know. It seems very well thought out. It's definitely well written. But...That's the only thing I am not so sure about. If it's really your voice between the lines. I don't know. That's just what I thought. Please take no offense to it. If so, just reply. Explain maybe. But trust me, your work is incredible. Truly.

I love the raw feel of this. The desperation. The rhyming was excellent as well, and did not overpower this pience.