Reviews for You, the moon to me

hey maria
2007-05-28
ch 1,

abuseA small suggestion: the last two lines of the first stanza have a great contrast between them, and are fine as they are, but they might be more effective if the contrast was made greater. Maybe changing the word "rumbling" to "trembling" or something similar to show that the ocean is now weaker -- a contrast to the previous line, where it was powerful.

But overall this poem was wonderful. I love how you used this metaphor, and I especially love the last line. Nice job.

All Alone With Her Thoughts
2007-05-28
ch 1,

abuseLovely job.

Rowan.

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