this is...really sad
im almost crying
and thats a big achevement
good job

I like it! But is it just a One-shot...? I'm impressed you know a bit about Japan.

Very good. You should enter it in the contest.

so good.

i love this! but its so sad...

im sad now

Oh my gosh! So sad! I loved it though! Really great!! Kudos!

I would watch for spacing, spelling and the alike if you're entering your story in a competiton. Make the family more personable and put more details. I'd up the girls age to 4 or 5 from how she's acting and the persona surrounding her.

It looks good though! :)