Share/Save/Bookmark
Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: Being Homeless is like Hell, only colder

DarkBlysse
2007-05-29
ch 1,
abuse"Well I live there. Okay so maybe I live next door."--There should be commas after 'well' and 'okay.'

"Fine damnit"--Ditto on the comma after 'fine.'

"The people at the restaurant call me ‘Special Fred,’ that’s not my name, but I think its..."--It should be a new sentence after 'Special Fred.' Funny nickname, btw. I wonder, is Fred special with a capital R and a sideways purple? I know I am!

I know how Fred feels. Sometimes the only way I can have an intelligent conversation is with myself, too.

It's a nice change to se something a little more serious coming from you, Muse. Not that I don't absolutely adore the humorous things! All in all a great intro to an interesting sounding story. Can't wait for more!
Return to Top