"the wall behind him doomed to forever have pictures of distant relatives hanging on it forever." - that line used 'forever' twice.

"on the front page, the 48 inch type like a shot in the chest: a young man was shot" - you need to get away from repeating words in the same sentence.

"slightly yellowed white" - white is a colour in its own right, and so is yellow. White cannot be white and yellow. I think the colour you need is 'dun' or you could use 'off-white'.

I liked the summary, it was well-written. If I was to be a complete **, I'd say this story was so-so. I liked the way you ended it, but I saw it coming a mile off, and the idea has been done before a lot.

Having said that: you did it a rough kind of justice. But I'm sure you've written better stuff.

This story was so confusing yet so amazing. Wonderfully written, my friend!

Well, once again, you've instilled millions of questions/ideas into my head with this new one-shot of yours.

First off, excellent pacing. The little snapshots of Gabriel's life as it's influenced so significantly by this blond in the mirror work their way up to the climax. With your one-shots, I can never guess what'll happen next. Which provides for excellent suspense. :D

At one point, you mentioned Gabriel's days turning into twofourfive, which reminded me of a line in e. e. cummings' poem about Buffalo Bill. Perhaps this was foreshadowing about the blond young man's death?

I'm infatuated with your idea of having a roadblock effect in the two's relationship (if it was ever that) in the form of a mirror separating the two. It makes me sympathize their situation even more, because they can't really touch or speak. (That reminds me, can they talk to each other through the mirror? It doesn't seem like they can...).

Also, your wit in writing that Gabriel gained three new mirrors (two of them in his bedroom, no less) makes me admire your genius in hinting both at his feelings and in driving the plot forward.

Beautiful one-shot. I hope you continue writing. : )

Did he get to him?

probably one of the best one-shots i've read, tbh. from start to end i was enraptured. You probably don't write RPS (but if you did, that would be awesome) but when i saw the FOB reference at the top, I couldn't help but imagine Pete and Patrick (especially with the pale skin, blond hair and hat) throughout it. :)

loved it. -faves-