|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| AK the Twilight 2008-05-04 ch 1, | abuseThe beginning of this poem is very vivid and very good. Aside from the occasional grammar error, (I'm assuming it's "for there has been a drought. The "falling emotions" thing feels a bit gimmicky, but it isn't a horrible idea. Good job on this. The storm is well-presented and the poem is great because of it. |
| simpleplan13 2007-09-04 ch 1, | abusefor the has been a drought.. there I like this a lot.. its a great metaphor.. and i like that formatting.. nicely done |
| shinco 2007-08-22 ch 1, | abuseOk, I'm not even gonna tell you the errors cause I wanna get right into saying thias was cool! And I agree with Leaving Here on the f a l l i n g e m o t i o n s part. It was cool, and it gave the very impression that the emotions were falling! Nice idea! GO SHAZAAM! |
| FunkyFlower17 2007-08-19 ch 1, | abusehmm... i liked the style, and the words used conjure powerful imagery... nice work overall :) take care, ~mez~ |
| Femme de Dieu 2007-06-20 ch 1, | abuseLiked the message here. The way you wrote *falling emotions* was very good, though I might have staggered the letters just a bit, for when things fall it's rarely in a straight line, not even tears. I think it's the word (days) at the end that really threw me off kilter. I just felt if the last line had been longer and sort of trailed off, it might have better conveyed the feeling of the prior emotions being washed away. Just a personal opinion at that. L. |
| Leaving Here 2007-06-15 ch 1, | abuselove the, f a l l i n g e m o t i o n s part. [note, i did not copy and paste that part, i took the time to write it all out, wat a loser (me)] very awesome. liz |
| recycle rhymes 2007-06-06 ch 1, | abusefalling emotions - i like how it is formatted b/c emotions are so hard that they just fall apart literally. m thinking too philosophically but that's how my brain works. that gets really lost on ppl...kind of sucks. anyway nice work. |