 000 2007-06-04 . chapter 1 This reminds me of a friend of mine...
One line I think needs a little tweaking is "and kill herself to death". Killing does imply death. Did you mean to put 'drink herself to death'?
I really like the lines, "Until dawn breaks loose, she will pretend nothing is new".
Though at a few places it didn't seem to flow as well, this creates a vivid image and and caused some emotion in me. Well done. |