I like it. My favorite part is "don’t beg for/ forgiveness/ because I know you’ve/ done nothing/ to earn it."
I makes me ponder deeper into it.

love the repition of don't

A heartfelt, heartrending poem. Excellent descriptions; my favorites were "flat and cheap/and brittle as/paper" and "don’t give me/your reasons/because there’s no/reason left in/your voice." The last line delivers a simple verbal sucker-punch that quietly reinforces the meaning of the poem.

Thanks!

Em

Your writing style is brilliant. This poem would be interesting to describe a character in a novel. Was it based on someone who you knew?

I like it! My favorite parts:
"don’t tell me/ you’ll listen/ because you’ve already/ stopped paying
attention."
"don’t give me/ your reasons/ because there’s no/ reason left in/ your voice."
"don’t beg for/ forgiveness/ because i know you’ve/ done nothing/ to earn it."

I know people that I'd love to say those lines to.

I can see you're experimenting a lot, venturing into new formats...This doesn't seem like the typical Will Sachiksy work. Actually, it kind of sounds like something I would write (with all the split ines and such.) Except I never use all lowercase letters.

It was very powerful and strong in it's message. I quite enjoyed it. Your versatility is starting to rise up from the surface, I see. ^_^

If you don't mind me asking, what exactly is this about? Were you thinking of a real life situation when you wrote it?

This seems to have a lot of emotion in it and for that, I like it. Good work with this.