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| Exuberant Lemon 2008-06-13 ch 1,  | abuseI like it. My favorite part is "don’t beg for/ forgiveness/ because I know you’ve/ done nothing/ to earn it." I makes me ponder deeper into it. |
| fatbird33 2008-03-02 ch 1, | abuselove the repition of don't |
| EmeraldsAndPearls33 2008-01-12 ch 1, | abuseA heartfelt, heartrending poem. Excellent descriptions; my favorites were "flat and cheap/and brittle as/paper" and "don’t give me/your reasons/because there’s no/reason left in/your voice." The last line delivers a simple verbal sucker-punch that quietly reinforces the meaning of the poem. Thanks! Em |
| NeptuneShelly 2007-06-18 ch 1, | abuseYour writing style is brilliant. This poem would be interesting to describe a character in a novel. Was it based on someone who you knew? |
| ham337dd 2007-06-04 ch 1, | abuseI like it! My favorite parts: "don’t tell me/ you’ll listen/ because you’ve already/ stopped paying attention." "don’t give me/ your reasons/ because there’s no/ reason left in/ your voice." "don’t beg for/ forgiveness/ because i know you’ve/ done nothing/ to earn it." I know people that I'd love to say those lines to. |
| Ivory Taint 2007-06-04 ch 1, | abuseI can see you're experimenting a lot, venturing into new formats...This doesn't seem like the typical Will Sachiksy work. Actually, it kind of sounds like something I would write (with all the split ines and such.) Except I never use all lowercase letters. It was very powerful and strong in it's message. I quite enjoyed it. Your versatility is starting to rise up from the surface, I see. ^_^ If you don't mind me asking, what exactly is this about? Were you thinking of a real life situation when you wrote it? |
| Unforgettably-Uniquely Me 2007-06-04 ch 1, | abuseThis seems to have a lot of emotion in it and for that, I like it. Good work with this. |