VERY good so far

ok, this is very good so far, but you have a LOT of type-os. im very good with that stuff, so if you want i could betta you...thats when u send me a chapter before you post it on fictionpress and i read it, fix the spelling/grammer errors, look for any holes in the story line (ex: If sammantha is holding a spoon in the begging of the chapter, and by the end of the chapter, she appears to still be holding the spoon even though she is hanging from a cliff). i will show my changes in red and send it back to you. you can then either post what i fixed, or post your old one. i would be happy to be your betta, i love you story so far.

I loved it. It was so emtoional, and just plain awesome. I really really liked it

LOve It can't wait for the next one.

it such a lovely story love!lol

so, i don't care what your profile says, i'm going to say this: GRAMMAR GRAMMAR GRAMMAR! SPELLING SPELLING SPELLING! all of your writing pretty much sucks with out it.

I'm going to be honest, this story is horrible, the plot is ridiculous and lame, and the writing is choppy and rushed, learn how to capitalize and proof read.

You have to update soon! Please!

I really like this as a first chap! Such an awesome idea!

Love it!

great story and storyline but you should proof read your work because the bad grammar made it hard to read but other than that good job!

Very good plot.. Interesting and realistic..

I like it..

/S

Sweet. U need to work on your punctuation and grammar. Other than that, Sweet!

psychotic-vampire-princess