I really enjoyed reading this story, partly because of the new format that I am un-used to seeing on ficitonpress which made it easy to visualize the story. The character's are really entertaining to read about, awesome first season.

Some of my favorite episodes were (In no particular order): The Academy (Episode 2, This is the chapter I enjoyed reading about Hisui the most, and at first thought he might have been my favorite character.) Sister (Episode 11, I'm not really sure why I liked this one, but it stuck out. Star is an interesting character IMO), Funeral and Run Away(Epiode's 24 and 25, really enjoyed the ending to the season much more than I usually enjoy the ending to a manga/anime/story.)

As for characters, if I had to pick favorites, it'd be close between Hisui, Chain and Max.

If you ever did a revision of this season, I'd like to see a lot more information in each episode (If it was animated, I'm not sure if what you've written would make it 20-25 minutes.) and maybe a couple 'OVA' type episodes which are more humor-based.

If you're writing a script I'd like to see more emotion in the dialogue. For example:

Bob(Excited): Okay
Bob (sad): Okay

It was a really simple example but I'm sure you get the picture. Other then that the story itself isn't too bad.

I'd work on giving your characters each their own unique kind of personality. Even if it's something subtle, for example I have a character in Corago who will stick the tip of her tongue out and bite it when thinking. I doubt anyone even notices it but those small things do add up. You have a basic understanding of script formatting which is very good. And don't get discouraged by what I say, keep writing because with each chapter you'll get a tiny bit better, after several chapters you'll get better, and with each new story you'll make leaps and bounds.

Script format, for television I presume? If you are serious about this will need to be alot longer, unless you plan on combining several chapters to make one episode. As for the story itself it was good, though more dialogue would help. also keep in mind what audience you're trying to appeal too.

hey, nice chapter. The killing scene is not what i expected, but it was good anyways. I did notice some errors but nothing major. update soon.

wow, i liked this chapter. i thought the interaction between mystery and alexa was good. it would be kinda cool to see it animated. update soon.

very nice. Your dialoge seems very believable. I thought it was funny how they train by chasing each other with plastic swords. I would like to read more soon.

hey, I think your story is very unique. YOu have an interesting style of writing and your dialoge is very nice. It is very original, and i would like to read more.