 antigonelives 2007-06-11 . chapter 1The repetition doesn't add much to the poem -- when every line starts with the same two words, the effect of having "they are" every six or so lines is basically thrown away.
I do like the idea, though; you've done a self-harm poem better than most could do one.
Also, if the scars are a weakness, a pain, a "testimony of hard times," as you put it, show that in your writing. Telling us so doesn't do much.
All in all, okay! Keep writing!
-Cristina |