I've never seen a poem written by a common crow before. ;) Yes, I know the Latin name.

At any rate, this poem is awkward. It reads and verbalizes like you tried too hard to make it artsy and contemporary. Chopping it up in awkward places doesn't make it a good free-verse poem.

The poem itself is also a bit frustrating. I'm sick of Christians saying how doomed and rotten the world is. This poem sounds so hopeless. You can tell people about the lack of Christianity without getting so dark.

I love what you're getting at and the message you're driving home. Plus I love the style this was written in.