Interesting. I read pieces dealing with this subject often, but not as many as yours stand out right away. I did notice at the beginging (first stanza to point out) that it sounded awkward. I read it out loud and it sounds off. Maybe instead of saying,
"Two girls sit awaiting,
One you love, the other loves you.
I'm the one you hate,
But I'm forever through and through."

you could try along these lines:

"Two girls sit in wait;
One you love and the one you hate.
I'm the one you hate
and forever I'm through and through." -only a suggestion. If I had more time I could surely find an even better creation of words for you that should rock peoples' worlds. I do have to say if in the 2nd line on "you" you could use italics on it. To emphasize your meaning and make it snazzier (if that makes sense) to the others who will be reading your work.

I do have to see this is one helluva piece I've read. Emotion packed and something that other's can relate to. Good job little lady. :D You've earned my praise.

This poem really made me angry. The boy in this piece sounds about as dumb as rocks. Why pine after the moon when there was/is someone much better within reach? His love interest though, seems to have a much clearer picture about what is going on. She seems to be more angry and disgusted about the pain that he is causing your, rather than merely being annoyed that he’s continually hanging around her.

I love the detail and the emotional clarity in this piece. I think that you really have a way with words, and I am looking forward to reading more of your work.

Lady_DreamWriter
Member of Reviewers_Found

The last stanza was classic, I thought. The entire thing was good, but those last two lines were really good. The subtle irony throughout the poem appealed to me. I'm not really into poetry (read: I hate it) but I liked this one.

zell.

I think love-triangles like this happen so often in real life, (in fact, I've been in the boy's place, so.. ouch). Although I can't say that I'm in the 'I' side. You can't force love; rejection will happen, sooner or later. You can't expect the person you love to love you back, because it just doesn't work that way.

Either way, I love the ryhmes and is totally blown with the first two lines.

It was really awesome. I loved it. It would work really great as a song. I didn't really get the" I fixed with thick, black lace." part... and you could've done better in the first part, I read a couple of your stories, I know you can. But it was good none-the-less.

That was absolutely wonderful.

I really can relate to this poem. It's beautiful in a dark and wonderful type of way. Keep it up. I'll be sure to watch out for more of your works.