I want Corin to be my brother. What a sweetie. Good job. I know it's really tough, but try to stay in Corin only pov.

This is a nice start. Not too overwhelming. Good intro of characters with a little insight into who they are. Good job of 1st person with male pov. The only thing I wondered is where are the parents? Maybe I missed that or it doesn't matter.

aw, poor tina. but now they're closer at least :) and hah, i do that. the sandwich thing--stuff the whole thing in my mouth. but usually i do it with pizza, then feel so sick afterwards. i don't get that; i eat slice after slice, not getting full, and then BAM! sudden nausea. its like the pizza expands in my stomach. but it so good. sigh.

right. --coughcough-- nicechapters so far. my favourite line in this chapter was "Victoria, who's always loved eloquence, nodded her head." lol. classic. right, i can't wait for more!!

oh, looks like victoria likes miguel. we haven't seen much interaction between tina and corin yet, which makes it interesting considering a lot of the writers on FP have them notice the romantic-interest within the first chapter. but you're going slow, which is always good.

umm...not much else to report on yet. onward we go --

hello!
well, its nice to see a male-lead character done in first person for once :) i've always wanted to, but couldn't put him in first person for fear of sounding like an idiot to all the Real guys out there. but you've written corin really well. the ending, where he just "went to my bedroom, and dropped dead on my bed" was very boy-ish. unlike guys, girls can't just "drop on" their beds after directly entering their room. well, not me anyway. i have to brush my teeth and take my make-up off and moisturise my face and take my hair out and fiddle around in my room for around thirty minutes doing nothing, before i can even CONSIDER going to sleep.

heh. great first chapter. i have to admit i skimmed over the beginning, because me and math just do NOT belong together (i graduated last year and suffered through my advanced maths course, so i neevr want to hear and/or read the word 'parabola' ever again)

onto chapter two...

I'd be glad to read what will happen next. Please update as soon as you can, but for now, good luck with school!

It is interesting to find out what's in a guy's POV, makes me laugh and actually wonder.

Can you please give a description on your characters? I'd really want to picture them in my head. Thank you!

Oh me likey.
I understand the updates will be slow, so update when you can

Ooh, Vic likes Miguel, doesn't she?
I quite like this!

This sounds good so far, I like it.

I really like this, it seems like a good start to a good story. The characters are really good. I already want to know what happens to them and see how they change. Great job!

I would prefer that you didn't change points of view. Anyway, good chapter.

~SirScott

so victoria likes miguel and corin will prolly end up with tina? that works.

Pretty good. I thought this was written in first person using a girl's voice, until I read his name. Pretty impressive to show off your knowledge of math. That's the beauty of writing.
Overall, it was written well.

~SirScott

So I'm gonna be brutally honest here:
I started reading this story because I'm always curious about male pov stories on fp. I think you've done a good job so far on making the main character a person- not stereotypically male nor female, which is refreshing because it has a sense of realism to it. I can buy that the character is in fact, a guy, and not some unrealistic version of a guy that girls wished existed (which is what I see in most fp stories).
Anyway. Now the brutal part, I suppose; nothing in the story right now is truly... interesting. I went on to chapter 2 to see if something would capture my attention, but, not really. I'm not saying your story idea is bad, but I think it's all about the way you're telling it. I think it's nice that you didn't go overboard with the character introductions, but as for the whole... emotional(?) aspect, everything's sorta flat- it's like you're just skimming over everything really fast. The way you're telling it is kinda of like: 'and then this happens, and then I went to do this, and then we had this for dinner...' I know it's part of the POV and an interest in the mundane really does say a lot about the character, but I still think you should think about what's truly important to the story.
So that's just what I think- good luck and keep writing!

Ah! Victoria likes Miguel...I think lol. Loved the update!

And I like the way you write in 1st person, Corin doesn't sound feminine to me, but I guess you should write in whatever way you feel comfortable in =)

Update soon!

~Mia