FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Kenna-Kat11 2007-06-16 ch 1,  | abusevery nice and very descriptive...i could really picture the beach and water and even taste the hotdog!..the only thing i felt you could fix was the second to last paragraph..i thought it a little choppy compared to the rest but everything else was fabulous...great job! ~E~ |