This is another good one, however i did find one thing that needed to be fixed, well at least in my opinion.

Original:

I thought that we meant something to each other!

But already you’ve found other,

Corrected:

I thought that we meant something to each other!

But already you’ve found another,


My favorite line is 'It hurts to go, it hurts to stay' because I just got out of a relationship like that and I feel like I was really channeling your emotion.

Mel/ilike2eatbabies

Member of Reviewers Kingdom

wow... that has to suck. Great poem though. You can really tell that it is upsetting and that the person longs to be friends again but hopefully something more. My personal advice though, he's not worth the time of day if he leaves you and treats you like you don't excist. Keep writting =)

Now this is angsty. It has such a bird's tortured sound to it. It's passionate, sad, relative to those who have been in similar situations, and emotive above all.

The only suggestion I have to give is in the part where you have 'a guy to boot, what's up with that?' The what's up with that doesn't exactly seem to fit. Otherwise that, the poem was pretty nice. Especially the emotions.

~M.Stains

More one thing: Please forgive my mistakes in the last review. I've been having a writing flop day... considering that's all I've been doing lately. ^_^

Very passionate writing but also very sad. I think you should change the second line's 'other' to 'another'. You might also want to think about changing either the 2nd or 11th line. Saying 'guy' twice doesn't seem to fit.

All in all, it is a wonderful piece of poetry,
-Sarah