This isn't bad. You have a pretty good handle on words, but honestly, there are some parts that make no real sense and seem to only serve as being "cool lines" or poetry for poetry's sake. It comes off as a little gaudy in the end, literarily speaking.

-dreamshell-

I would never have understood this without the explanation.

Though the part about rot; wouldn't he only begin to rot after his death? Crows and other scavengers don't eat until their prey is dead and gone.

This was interesting, very Stephen King, macabre.

Wow this was really good.

I read it over once and was like "k it's too deep, I don't get it."

and then I read your explanation and re-read the whole thing and it made a bit more sense.

I love the "-Stop?" at the end particularly.

Good job!