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| the-one-and-only 2007-09-10 ch 2, anon. | abusecan you finish this please i love these types of plot lines please |
| J.E.Wyatt 2007-06-26 ch 1,  | abuseWhat era was this story based in? I was thinking the 18th century...or perhaps the 19th, what with there being Dukes and fencings. Anyways, you've started your story off pretty well. There are some grammatical errors and a few historical inacuracies (unless your story isn't based in the historical era) For example, in Aide's letter to her mother, she said she knew fencing and hand to hand combat. This wouldn't be a common training for a female living with nobles. They'd be taught to do all the frivolous Arts of a well qualified lady. So, maybe you should make more exact of the reason why Aide was trained in such a manner? Perhaps her family had once been disposed in a perilous situation and her parents wished to protect their daughter in case of future perils that might befall. Also, in the letter, Aide referred to the "CITY" which, in a historical setting, should have been referred to as towns or villages. Until the late late late 1800s (somewhere around 1870 perhaps? I'm just guessing) cities did not exist. Well, I've never in my life read in a historical book of someone referring to a place as a "city." Anyways, this was just a little constructive criticism. Hope you don't get offended ^^ Anyways, I hope you'll update someday soon |