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| Bavand 2008-06-29 ch 1,  | abuseOh man, talk about being right there!! I can practically hear the guns going off and the screams and smell the smoke! This should be published some where for the public (i.e. non-ficpress people) to get a good sense of what it's like and to encourage solders that someone out there really understands. If I find such a place, I'll let you know. You should also consider writing more poetry. I did read some of your essays and find your humor very appealing and down to earth. But more poetry would be great cause you've got the talent for it, too. Julie |
| TwinDeath 2008-05-20 ch 1, | abuseThis is amazing. a good poem, with a great message! the whole thing is well done, and the only thing that I can find to change is that I think the use of italics to denote thoughts. (Oh, and sorry about the late review return.) Live forever, or die trying!! |
| Purpose 2008-04-04 ch 1, | abuseThis is patriotism. This is true honoring of our soldiers, the honoring by the common people, the people they chose to protect and to lay their lives down for. It was a really good poem that shows the side of the soldier's thinking. Not many people seem to get the idea that the grand majority of our soldiers sign up to actually serve us and that many of them would gladly die on our behalf. The least we can do is to honor them. |
| simpleplan13 2008-03-14 ch 1, | abuse-The noise is deafening... needs a semi-colon after it -Your eardrums ring... needs a semi-colon after it -Standing next to your brothers/watching bodies piling up on each other... is not a complete sentence -You wince at what you see thinking, thank god that wasn’t me... need a comma after see -You look around at the faces... you need a comma after this, though I don't see why you repat the faces -and that is why you scream... capitalize the A Pride covers their bodies was my favorite line in the whole piece... it was really itnerestina and a great image. I like the piece the ending especially is very sad and pwoerful. Nicely done. |
| TT-da-lamanite 2008-01-29 ch 1, | abuseWow...thats amazing, I feel what this peom is trying to convey...I hate the fact that I seem to be the only person who says the pledge of alliegance in class any more the native american is more patriotic than all the other ones...how Ironic is that? |
| HGiel 2007-12-16 ch 1, | abuseVery well done. Good job. |
| Lost Shepherd 2007-07-13 ch 1, | abuseThis is a great piece. Sad and grim, but quite heroic as the title suggests. You may or may not remember me, but you submitted a review to my poem, "Swamyamadiddledoo." I'd like you to know that I'll be sampling some of your other works, and will patiently await any reviews for my upcoming work. |
| Kanna1029 2007-06-24 ch 1, | abuseOh! this is so sad! But it is very good! Keep up the awesome writing!! |