The raw emotion is what drew me in to this piece. Very well painted through words.
That the end is in parentheses makes it pop to the readers eye, like it is reading a secret. Good touch.
-J.A.
Courtesy of the review marathon (link on profile).

loved it, very original :)

love that last line there..

I love this. each verse is strong and can stand alone. i love the "this much tighter", because anyone who has wanted someone to be with them in some way can probably relate to that. and the last three lines just run into each other until you can't quite separate these words. It feels like a warning for the boy so that there isn't as much pressure to make sure it works, or that no one gets hurt.

the aching and the longing is so palpable.

i love the last line! "but girls like me are why boys like you write heartbreak songs" that's great.