 lilylilyrose 2009-04-02 . chapter 1this poem is a confusion of beauty and violence...
"I want to suck bullets from between your teeth" - has a threat to it like a charge... everything is electric
"(the pieces look like rainbow fireflies
and slam into the ground like beer bottles, shattering and ricocheting off our legs)" - the brackets work, like an after-thought... it sparks, again.
I really like your writing; 'the spin' is also beautifully meloncholic. lovely stuff! |
 Her Wishing Well 2007-06-25 . chapter 1Wow, again. I like the way you repeat the idea of violence and a world ending type theme. 'the sky falls down' 'armageddon. An amazing and powerfull poem. |
 Tytherpol 2007-06-25 . chapter 1i like the poem. |
 hey maria 2007-06-24 . chapter 1I like the way the first line is continued with the second-to-last.
And I love the last line, it's a perfect summary of the feelings in this poem. |
 Nina Bruja 2007-06-24 . chapter 1these are all the things i would like to say but i get cottonmouth when i think of them. this is perfect. |
 Faith Adeline 2007-06-23 . chapter 1wow, great poem. The imagery and words used are awesome and make the poem so. . . wow lol. I especially love the last line, just because it ties it all together very nicely. Keep it up!
Faith |
 amillionlittlepieces 2007-06-23 . chapter 1amazing.
all of your work is so intense.
the way you write brings your readers in,
hook, line, and sinker. |
 dollface and her cancer 2007-06-23 . chapter 1"i want to suck bullets from between your teeth", paired with the not-quite-ending, "i bite down on the bullets between your teeth, they spark", is **-worthy all on its own. my other favorite line being, "my jeans are too thick." god, i'm glad you're writing again. |