you definitely have read more than a little Poppy Z Brite. One small typo in the fourth to last paragraph: lings should be lungs.

And in the fourth paragraph "Fingers immobile, eyes still, he lies." just is awkward in the wording. I understand what you mean with it, it just seems to get jumbled up in the style of your writing.

as for critique, it is an immensely dark and disturbing piece of work. It brings some valid points about the human psyche, but is truly twisted.

The imagery of a rotting corpse lying on the ground rotting, with hands plunging into it, makes me recoil in disgust; however, it also makes me want to go find a rotting maggot infested corpse and sink my hands deep into its depths.

Please keep writing things like this. They can bring out the true person in us, if we pause to take a moment and think about what is written. Those who dismiss such a piece of work as this, are in the end only denying themselves.

I wouldn't say that was scary. Vivid and well written, yes. But not chilling or scary.


A sight of a dead decaying body may not make me sick, but mostly just the smell.

Wow. That is an extremely well written piece. The imagery is startling clear, as it should be. And the last paragraph is just chilling. Very good job.

I don't think that anyone could prove you wrong...*shudders* The scariest thing about this fic is that you can't be proved wrong...